Filling The Lonesome Void

[tweetmeme]Oh, we all have this lonesome void. Even those of us who absolutely love to be alone will feel a tug once in awhile when we bump up against our aloneness. Some of us feel it so much more. Maybe we’ve just gotten out of a relationship or someone has passed. This emptiness often gets unbearable. What does one do when this happens? What is the appropriate way to deal with loneliness?

Here again, this is a personal choice. There are different ways at different stages of life that you would manage this. Filling a void with substances has been a common way to ‘cope’. By now we all know this is not only ineffective but detrimental to our development. Filling a void with people, places and things is also very common. When this ceases to work, some of us become more introspective. We tend to journal, meditate, cry and do other ‘rituals’ to RID the void.

There is yet another way – And if at this time, you have gotten little or no results from the other methods, chances are it’s your time to embrace the void.

What? That sounds so scary. It does get scary. It is hugely confronting. And it’s one of those things that dissipates the void much faster when done this way.

Imagine you feel lonely. It’s uncomfortable at the very least. Find a place where there will be no distractions. (no phone, animals, TV, knocks on the door). Sit with your aloneness. Feel it fully throughout your body. Allow yourself to truly feel it. You might cry, you might be afraid, you might resist. Acknowledge your aloneness. Sit with it more. At all times keeping the intent to release but not doing the releasing yourself. Just facing it one moment at a time. Slowly but surely it will diminish. Maybe all of it, maybe most of it, but for sure, some of it.

You are entitled to this feeling of aloneness. When you work through it, you will never be the same. A newfound inner strength will arise. No longer will you need people to fill this. Often we make better choices about those we associate with when we are OK with being alone.

Whatever technique you adopt, do what you can to honor this aloneness as a teacher. It’s there to support your growth. It’s there to encourage you to be with yourself. You have so much to offer you.

Happy Tuesday



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