I often wondered, before I became a coach, if everyone had to deal with as many opposing thoughts as I did. Sometimes it seems as though everything requires a decision and I am not prepared to decide. What then should one do when they are stuck with opposing thoughts?
Where are you stuck in your opposing thoughts? Does it have to do with wanting to be with a partner who you know is not the ‘one’ for you but you love anyway? Do you struggle whether you should stay in a secure unsatisfying job or take a huge leap into entrepreneurship? Are there life choices you just cannot move through because you cannot choose one from another?
After years of hearing my clients talk about their opposing thoughts I tapped into several techniques and tips to help along the way to resolve the dilemma.
When dealing with opposing thoughts, consider one of the following options to apply to your situation. If one works – great. You may need more than one technique and that’s fine too. The objective is to have tools to guide you through most opposing thoughts.
6 TIPS TO RESOLUTION –
- NOT THE RIGHT TIME – Consider that if you can’t make a decision yet, then it’s not time to do so. Maybe you need more time or information before choosing. Just allowing this to be an option may take a lot of pressure off of you and in return help expedite it any way.
- WORK ON YOU FIRST – Whenever you can’t make a decision, chances are you are not in the right place to do so with your personal development. Take time to meditate, journal or develop that inside of you that helps you choose effortlessly, key word being effortlessly. Decisions don’t have to be grueling. When it hurts to make one, then maybe you are trying too hard because you are not in the right place to do so. Relax and come from a better place.
- FEELINGS VS FACTS – If you are an over-thinker and you still haven’t come to a decision, consider that your solution may come from your feeling side instead. I get a lot of resistance from this one, even from myself, but I have to admit it works and is often the missing link. When bumping up against two or more conflicting thoughts try removing them from your mind at the moment and just sit quietly to connect with how you ultimately want to feel at the end of this equation. If you know you want to feel secure, peaceful and satisfied and one of the options does not support that, then you may have your answer. This takes some time, because we have been trained to be logical. With practice or a little bit of help you can begin trusting your instincts and feelings to make great decisions.
- JUMP WITHOUT A NET – Sometimes we bump up against opposing thoughts to prompt us to take action without too much thought. Being spontaneous and daring might be the lesson for us. If you have played life very safe in the past, then maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith. While it may not always work out the way you planned, you will have successes. And, you’ll probably feel so much better about yourself.
- GET HIGH LEVEL SUPPORT – Often we go to family members, friends or others to guide us through our life challenges. Many times these people bring their own limitations, fears and doubts to the equation – which actually keep you from making the decision that’s right for you. If you are going to choose support, choose someone who is truly supporting you and not attached to the outcome based on their own filtering system. Do not go to an empty well for water! Choose someone who is objective and has a similar philosophy or vision.
- ASK FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE – I work with clients with diverse spiritual philosophies from Christian to Buddhist to Metaphysician. I can’t tell you how often I have to remind them to check in with their spiritual source to help with making a decision. If you haven’t done so yet, begin asking your source for strength and guidance to get you to your resolve. Remember to ‘listen’ for the answers, as they come in various packages.
How do you get unstuck from opposing thoughts? Please comment below and share what has worked and what didn’t. Since there are so many of us out there on the fence, your wisdom is requested.
To learn more about Fran Asaro and Thrive Any Way Personal and Business Coaching or to sign up for a complimentary coaching session by phone, go to www.thriveanyway.com