Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Perseverance’ Category


stuck with opposing thoughtsI often wondered, before I became a coach, if everyone had to deal with as many opposing thoughts as I did. Sometimes it seems as though everything requires a decision and I am not prepared to decide. What then should one do when they are stuck with opposing thoughts?

Where are you stuck in your opposing thoughts? Does it have to do with wanting to be with a partner who you know is not the ‘one’ for you but you love anyway? Do you struggle whether you should stay in a secure unsatisfying job or take a huge leap into entrepreneurship? Are there life choices you just cannot move through because you cannot choose one from another?

After years of hearing my clients talk about their opposing thoughts I tapped into several  techniques and tips to help along the way to resolve the dilemma.

When dealing with opposing thoughts, consider one of the following options to apply to your situation. If one works – great. You may need more than one technique and that’s fine too. The objective is to have tools to guide you through most opposing thoughts.

6 TIPS TO RESOLUTION –

  1. NOT THE RIGHT TIME – Consider that if you can’t make a decision yet, then it’s not time to do so. Maybe you need more time or information before choosing. Just allowing this to be an option may take a lot of pressure off of you and in return help expedite it any way.
  2. WORK ON YOU FIRST – Whenever you can’t make a decision, chances are you are not in the right place to do so with your personal development. Take time to meditate, journal or develop that inside of you that helps you choose effortlessly, key word being effortlessly. Decisions don’t have to be grueling. When it hurts to make one, then maybe you are trying too hard because you are not in the right place to do so. Relax and come from a better place.
  3. FEELINGS VS FACTS – If you are an over-thinker and you still haven’t come to a decision, consider that your solution may come from your feeling side instead. I get a lot of resistance from this one, even from myself, but I have to admit it works and is often the missing link. When bumping up against two or more conflicting thoughts try removing them from your mind at the moment and just sit quietly to connect with how you ultimately want to feel at the end of this equation. If you know you want to feel secure, peaceful and satisfied and one of the options does not support that, then you may have your answer. This takes some time, because we have been trained to be logical. With practice or a little bit of help you can begin trusting your instincts and feelings to make great decisions.
  4. JUMP WITHOUT A NET – Sometimes we bump up against opposing thoughts to prompt us to take action without too much thought. Being spontaneous and daring might be the lesson for us. If you have played life very safe in the past, then maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith. While it may not always work out the way you planned, you will have successes. And, you’ll probably feel so much better about yourself.
  5. GET HIGH LEVEL SUPPORT – Often we go to family members, friends or others to guide us through our life challenges. Many times these people bring their own limitations, fears and doubts to the equation – which actually keep you from making the decision that’s right for you. If you are going to choose support, choose someone who is truly supporting you and not attached to the outcome based on their own filtering system. Do not go to an empty well for water! Choose someone who is objective and has a similar philosophy or vision.
  6. ASK FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE – I work with clients with diverse spiritual philosophies from Christian to Buddhist to Metaphysician.  I can’t tell you how often I have to remind them to check in with their spiritual source to help with making a decision.  If you haven’t done so yet, begin asking your source for strength and guidance to get you to your resolve. Remember to ‘listen’ for the answers, as they come in various packages.

How do you get unstuck from opposing thoughts? Please comment below and share what has worked and what didn’t. Since there are so many of us out there on the fence, your wisdom is requested.

Enthusiastically,

Fran

To learn more about Fran Asaro and Thrive Any Way Personal and Business Coaching or to sign up for a complimentary coaching session by phone,  go to www.thriveanyway.com

Advertisements

Read Full Post »


[tweetmeme]Often we find ourselves in a relationship that tugs at our patience. Whether it is due to incompatibility, intolerance, control or disrespect, some people sit uncomfortably with us or downright annoy us.

I remembering hearing for years how important it was to sever such relationships for self preservation. It was a way to relieve ourselves of all the discomfort. While at some level it made sense and still does, eventually you might find yourself disconnecting or running from anyone and anything that challenges you. In time, some of us begin to feel as though all we do is end relationships and wonder if severing is the only answer. Is that you?

There are times when we can’t or no longer want to cut the cord with others. This could be because they are family or co-workers, colleagues or friends. Whatever the reason, you are not willing or able to separate yourself from them. What do you do then? Stay miserable every time you are in their company?

There is another way. It may not be as easy as cutting them off, however, it could restore your sanity when cord cutting is not an option. Severing the AFFECT that others have on you keeps you in the driver’s seat of your life. Let’s face it; people will always get your goat. They will say and do things that annoy you, they will run you off the road, they will be embarrassing to be around and they will suck all of your energy. You can’t kill them all off. So the next best thing – maybe even the most self empowering action – is to release the affect they have on you.

Easier said then done? Yes, it takes practice and intention to carry this out. Once you commit to protecting your own boundaries emotionally and physically, others will no longer have the same impact on you as they once did. People can only affect you when you allow them to infringe on your personal boundary. When you stand strong on what you will and will not let into your own thoughts, feelings and physical self, you become the keeper of your mood, your power and your sense of well being.

Options – sometimes that’s all we need to know in order to feel better in these situations. Knowing that we can choose to sever or not provides a sense of relief. So, the next time you are feeling completely affected by someone else and severing is not possible, know you have one more resource. Know that you are in charge of your boundaries. Know that you can learn to rise above and even beyond the impact others have on you and your world.

Enthusiastically,
Fran
For more information about working with Fran Asaro click here

Read Full Post »


(Click above for an audio version of this article)

[tweetmeme]There are times when we are gung ho about a project or a life change. We enthusiastically pursue our vision and have such optimism. Sometimes as we move forward we feel we are walking in quicksand. We know we are on the right track yet we can’t seem to make headway. What could possibly be the problem?

Often when things are not going smoothly, the reason is that we still have something in our energetic basement that needs tending to. Metaphorically, you can’t build a house without a solid basement or foundation. If there is a glitch in the basement wall, no need to even move another inch until that is addressed.

In life this could look something like this: You pursue a new business venture. You’ve been in business before, you know what to do. However this time it’s seems that everything you know or have done before will not work now. Could it be that there is something in your basement that still needs attention?

Chances are that you have an unresolved situation. Maybe you need to complete a previous business relationship. Maybe you want to approach finances differently than before. Or it could be that you have worthiness and confidence issues that are blocking your success.

This applies to any area of your life where you feel stuck. Consider taking a trip into your basement, not to mull, not to linger, but to assertively address the situation and then move forward as planned.
It may only take a short time once you discover it to the time you dissolve it. You are worth this.

Happy Tuesday

Enthusiastically,
Fran

For those making life, wellness, relationship transitions, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary session. 954 370 8001

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: