I know of a woman who allows her children to write on the walls of her home. When I questioned this she explained that she didn’t want to thwart their creativity and full self-expression.
Being from a wonderful albeit structured family environment I had a hard time imagining myself condoning this exercise. I am a Life coach for goodness sake. I encourage my clients to live out loud and live a life by design – their own design. Wouldn’t that be the case for children too? So which is it then? Provide structure and strong guidance or support the ‘anything goes’ attitude?
Someone else I know feels that she was a square peg forced to fit into a round hole during her childhood. She wanted to dance and they asked her to sit and behave. She brought home animals and they asked her to stop. She thought differently from the rest, and they demanded she conforms. Now in her late 50’s finds it difficult to stretch herself beyond her comfort zone and realize her visions.
I remember at 10 years old sitting next to a woman at a wedding. I had never met her and yet she spent a lot of time talking to me as if I was an adult. She looked into my eyes; She asked me open-ended questions and made me feel like a star. I am eternally grateful to what she gifted me that day and have thought of her fondly ever since. I have also made it a point to do the same to other children.
Where in your childhood did someone profoundly impact who you are today?
Being a part of the growth of any child is an honorable task. What a gift to be able to support the individuality and identity of another. I suggest we step up a bit and see what we can do today to make a difference in a child’s life. Where can you challenge them to do something unique, say something they’ve never said, experience something they haven’t yet experienced? We may never know the impact that act has on them for life, however, I venture to think they will never be the same because of it. Dare yourself to be alive and kicking and pass that on to someone else.
Hmmm, I wonder, if my clients had the opportunity to draw on a wall or dance in the rain if they would have needed to come to me to learn how to live out loud!
Fran Asaro is the CEO and founder of Thrive Any Way Personal and Business Coaching. For more information go to www.thriveanyway.com
[tweetmeme]I had a homework assignment once that asked me to interview people in my life. I was to ask about 5 questions inquiring who I was for them. Questions like; what were my strengths and what did they think of me. Not all answers were exactly what I wanted but many showed me that I had made a difference for others which was how I really wanted to be seen.
We don’t always get to interview those in our lives. And not everyone would be willing to share their feelings either. But if you could, would you like to know how you are perceived?
This could be a tricky experiment. It’s not intended to cause pain to anyone. So try it with positive questions only. Ask questions that will give you the opportunity to be acknowledged.
Let’s call this the “How You See Me Game” and ask the following questions. (feel free to add others)
1. What are my greatest strengths?
2. What are the best times you remember with me?
3. When was I the funniest?
4. What great thing would you want to say about me right now?
Have fun with this. Enjoy it and feel free to reciprocate with your willing partner.
Make sure you acknowledge those who were generous enough to play this game with you. Feel free to post your results on my page!
Wow, that sounds scary doesn’t it? What the heck does stepping out into nothingness mean anyway? I get a vision of someone jumping out of an airplane and feeling nothing beneath them. No net – not knowing where you will land, just trusting that you will land in the perfect place. For some, this is heaven, for others – this is hell.
Stepping out into nothingness is similar to having blind faith. Taking steps or even leaps in a direction where no one you know has ever gone and certainly a place that you have never been yourself. It may be something like leaving a job without a back up. Taking a leap of faith in a new venture. Jumping in or out of a relationship because it feels right but not because you have all the answers.
This type of blind faith would just ‘kill’ some people. Some just have to have security written all over an act. They want to research every nook and cranny before delving into making a decision. This is perfect – for them.
And while there is something to be said about playing it safe and being responsible; sometimes we feel an incredible urge NOT to play by the rules, not to be safe or do what others think we should do. Sometimes we just have to leap without knowing where we are going. We feel an impulse to trust the universe – and then….BAM… We GO!!
When this happens, no matter what the outcome, we will NEVER be the same. One: because the experience was new and enlightening. two: because we trusted ourselves like never before and it was so worth it.
Would you like to go through your Transition with ease? Call me 954 370 8001