There are loads of classes, books and conversations on living an authentic life. It wasn’t always the ‘thing’ to be. There was a time when conforming was the rage. Follow this group or that leader. But no more.
What happened? Was there a universal shift and now everyone is moving towards individuality and uniqueness? Some say there was. Either way the thought of being authentic feels really comfortable for me. If it does for you as well, then accommodating that thought is the way to go.
So how do you know when you are living an authentic life? I had a client ask me to help her be authentic. I hesitated for a few moments and then thought… How could I do that? How could I help her be more authentic? Then I realized that I couldn’t. Authenticity is not something we work to become. It’s something we are. While we may have covered much of it up over the years with pretending, blending and changing, we can never forget who we truly are. It’s a remembering process. That’s all.
There are many facets to living an authentic life. The aspect of ‘remembering’ is just one. To begin the process of remembering, all you have to do is stimulate your thoughts. Whether they be from the past or the present it won’t matter. When you begin to notice ways of being with yourself or even with others, you will unfold truths about yourself. Start building your repertoire of authentic characteristics of yourself. Do you remember how you used to be? Did laughing resonate with you? When you danced did it feel like you were more alive? When you carried yourself in a certain manor did you feel better about yourself?
Take your time; enjoy the process of remembering yourself. Rebuild that which is innately you. Keep what works; discard that which no longer serves you. You will be surprised to find a magnificent you reappearing.
To contact Fran Asaro
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Posted in Coach, empowerment, Perseverance, Relationship, Thought Provoking, tagged choice, Coach, Fran Asaro, life coach, painful relationship, problem relationship, relationship, severing relationship, thrive anyway on June 3, 2011|
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[tweetmeme]Often we find ourselves in a relationship that tugs at our patience. Whether it is due to incompatibility, intolerance, control or disrespect, some people sit uncomfortably with us or downright annoy us.
I remembering hearing for years how important it was to sever such relationships for self preservation. It was a way to relieve ourselves of all the discomfort. While at some level it made sense and still does, eventually you might find yourself disconnecting or running from anyone and anything that challenges you. In time, some of us begin to feel as though all we do is end relationships and wonder if severing is the only answer. Is that you?
There are times when we can’t or no longer want to cut the cord with others. This could be because they are family or co-workers, colleagues or friends. Whatever the reason, you are not willing or able to separate yourself from them. What do you do then? Stay miserable every time you are in their company?
There is another way. It may not be as easy as cutting them off, however, it could restore your sanity when cord cutting is not an option. Severing the AFFECT that others have on you keeps you in the driver’s seat of your life. Let’s face it; people will always get your goat. They will say and do things that annoy you, they will run you off the road, they will be embarrassing to be around and they will suck all of your energy. You can’t kill them all off. So the next best thing – maybe even the most self empowering action – is to release the affect they have on you.
Easier said then done? Yes, it takes practice and intention to carry this out. Once you commit to protecting your own boundaries emotionally and physically, others will no longer have the same impact on you as they once did. People can only affect you when you allow them to infringe on your personal boundary. When you stand strong on what you will and will not let into your own thoughts, feelings and physical self, you become the keeper of your mood, your power and your sense of well being.
Options – sometimes that’s all we need to know in order to feel better in these situations. Knowing that we can choose to sever or not provides a sense of relief. So, the next time you are feeling completely affected by someone else and severing is not possible, know you have one more resource. Know that you are in charge of your boundaries. Know that you can learn to rise above and even beyond the impact others have on you and your world.
For more information about working with Fran Asaro click here
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[tweetmeme]I had a homework assignment once that asked me to interview people in my life. I was to ask about 5 questions inquiring who I was for them. Questions like; what were my strengths and what did they think of me. Not all answers were exactly what I wanted but many showed me that I had made a difference for others which was how I really wanted to be seen.
We don’t always get to interview those in our lives. And not everyone would be willing to share their feelings either. But if you could, would you like to know how you are perceived?
This could be a tricky experiment. It’s not intended to cause pain to anyone. So try it with positive questions only. Ask questions that will give you the opportunity to be acknowledged.
Let’s call this the “How You See Me Game” and ask the following questions. (feel free to add others)
1. What are my greatest strengths?
2. What are the best times you remember with me?
3. When was I the funniest?
4. What great thing would you want to say about me right now?
Have fun with this. Enjoy it and feel free to reciprocate with your willing partner.
Make sure you acknowledge those who were generous enough to play this game with you. Feel free to post your results on my page!
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Posted in empowerment, self esteem, Thought Provoking, Transition, unstoppable, tagged blind faith, dare, daring, nothingness, soaring, taking chances, thrive, unknown on August 13, 2010|
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Wow, that sounds scary doesn’t it? What the heck does stepping out into nothingness mean anyway? I get a vision of someone jumping out of an airplane and feeling nothing beneath them. No net – not knowing where you will land, just trusting that you will land in the perfect place. For some, this is heaven, for others – this is hell.
Stepping out into nothingness is similar to having blind faith. Taking steps or even leaps in a direction where no one you know has ever gone and certainly a place that you have never been yourself. It may be something like leaving a job without a back up. Taking a leap of faith in a new venture. Jumping in or out of a relationship because it feels right but not because you have all the answers.
This type of blind faith would just ‘kill’ some people. Some just have to have security written all over an act. They want to research every nook and cranny before delving into making a decision. This is perfect – for them.
And while there is something to be said about playing it safe and being responsible; sometimes we feel an incredible urge NOT to play by the rules, not to be safe or do what others think we should do. Sometimes we just have to leap without knowing where we are going. We feel an impulse to trust the universe – and then….BAM… We GO!!
When this happens, no matter what the outcome, we will NEVER be the same. One: because the experience was new and enlightening. two: because we trusted ourselves like never before and it was so worth it.
Would you like to go through your Transition with ease? Call me 954 370 8001
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Posted in Thought Provoking on February 19, 2010|
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To live an easy, drama free life
Live a life of challenges and growth opportunities
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