Posted in Humor

IT’S WHO I AM, IT’S WHAT I DO!


this is who I am this is what I do thrive any way fran asaro‘It’s who I am – It’s what I do’! My sister has been telling people that I was born to be a coach. She facetiously  says that I have been coaching since I was 3, and that people have been coming to me for coaching my entire life. That part is true.

So why then is she so surprised when she shares a dilemma with me and I come up with a solution? I’m not saying that I am right or that I should be doing this… I agree that some people just want to vent… But you know what, as I tell my sister every time it occurs, ‘It’s who I am – It’s what I do’!

So now this has become quite a joke between us… no matter what we do, if one of us is trying to change the other, we use that phrase. Even when it’s just plain silly. So when I talk too much or sing loud and awful and she comments or asks me to stop – my staple comment ‘It’s who I am – It’s what I do’! Try it on your people and have fun!

Posted in Inspiration

The Invitation – by Oriah Mountain Dreamer


The Invitation Oriah Mountain DreamerFor those that know me, this is one of my all time favorites to read to inspire my friends, clients and the women from my weekly group. I cry every time I read it because the words challenge me to my core. When we read this in my group, sometimes I have each person read a paragraph. Sometimes I read it myself so I can emphasize for impact. But I almost always ask which is the paragraph that hit them the most. It’s great to see the emotions and the connection as well as the inspiration. I invite anyone to do this with others for a moving time. I am privileged to share this on my page and hope you love it as much as I do.

The Invitation by Oriah
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved

Posted in empowerment, self esteem, Thrive

Alive and Kicking – Making a Difference in a Childs Self Expression


I know of a woman who allows her children to write on the walls of her home. When I questioned this she explained that she didn’t want to thwart their creativity and full self-expression.

Being from a wonderful albeit structured family environment I had a hard time imagining myself condoning this exercise. I am a Life coach for goodness sake. I encourage my clients to live out loud and live a life by design – their own design. Wouldn’t that be the case for children too? So which is it then? Provide structure and strong guidance or support the ‘anything goes’ attitude?

Someone else I know feels that she was a square peg forced to fit into a round hole during her childhood. She wanted to dance and they asked her to sit and behave. She brought home animals and they asked her to stop. She thought differently from the rest, and they demanded she conforms. Now in her late 50’s finds it difficult to stretch herself beyond her comfort zone and realize her visions.

I remember at 10 years old sitting next to a woman at a wedding. I had never met her and yet she spent a lot of time talking to me as if I was an adult. She looked into my eyes; She asked me open-ended questions and made me feel like a star. I am eternally grateful to what she gifted me that day and have thought of her fondly ever since. I have also made it a point to do the same to other children.

Where in your childhood did someone profoundly impact who you are today?

Being a part of the growth of any child is an honorable task. What a gift to be able to support the individuality and identity of another. I suggest we step up a bit and see what we can do today to make a difference in a child’s life. Where can you challenge them to do something unique, say something they’ve never said, experience something they haven’t yet experienced? We may never know the impact that act has on them for life, however, I venture to think they will never be the same because of it. Dare yourself to be alive and kicking and pass that on to someone else.

Hmmm, I wonder, if my clients had the opportunity to draw on a wall or dance in the rain if they would have needed to come to me to learn how to live out loud!

Enthusiastically,
Fran

Fran Asaro is the CEO and founder of Thrive Any Way Personal and Business Coaching. For more information go to www.thriveanyway.com

Posted in Coach, empowerment, Perseverance, Relationship, Thought Provoking

Severing a Painful Relationship – Or NOT?


[tweetmeme]Often we find ourselves in a relationship that tugs at our patience. Whether it is due to incompatibility, intolerance, control or disrespect, some people sit uncomfortably with us or downright annoy us.

I remembering hearing for years how important it was to sever such relationships for self preservation. It was a way to relieve ourselves of all the discomfort. While at some level it made sense and still does, eventually you might find yourself disconnecting or running from anyone and anything that challenges you. In time, some of us begin to feel as though all we do is end relationships and wonder if severing is the only answer. Is that you?

There are times when we can’t or no longer want to cut the cord with others. This could be because they are family or co-workers, colleagues or friends. Whatever the reason, you are not willing or able to separate yourself from them. What do you do then? Stay miserable every time you are in their company?

There is another way. It may not be as easy as cutting them off, however, it could restore your sanity when cord cutting is not an option. Severing the AFFECT that others have on you keeps you in the driver’s seat of your life. Let’s face it; people will always get your goat. They will say and do things that annoy you, they will run you off the road, they will be embarrassing to be around and they will suck all of your energy. You can’t kill them all off. So the next best thing – maybe even the most self empowering action – is to release the affect they have on you.

Easier said then done? Yes, it takes practice and intention to carry this out. Once you commit to protecting your own boundaries emotionally and physically, others will no longer have the same impact on you as they once did. People can only affect you when you allow them to infringe on your personal boundary. When you stand strong on what you will and will not let into your own thoughts, feelings and physical self, you become the keeper of your mood, your power and your sense of well being.

Options – sometimes that’s all we need to know in order to feel better in these situations. Knowing that we can choose to sever or not provides a sense of relief. So, the next time you are feeling completely affected by someone else and severing is not possible, know you have one more resource. Know that you are in charge of your boundaries. Know that you can learn to rise above and even beyond the impact others have on you and your world.

Enthusiastically,
Fran
For more information about working with Fran Asaro click here