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Archive for the ‘Inspiration’ Category


How do you build your blogging community?

 

I’m going to make this short and sweet

This is not a blog about how to grow your blogging community, it’s actually a blog ASKING YOU to help me and others grow our blogging community. As a business and marketing coach, I strongly recommend that my clients start a blog. But I never took it to the level of creating community. If you have insight and wisdom in this area, PLEASE share in the comments below.

I really love to write my blogs and have been writing for about 10 years. I have several. I actually used to write a short one every day and people relied on them. Yes, I would get emails and texts when there wasn’t a blog in their inbox. Then things changed over the years and now to get better SEO, links need to be added and affiliate marketing and images inserted. I still love doing that, but since it takes time, I do it less frequently.

So, this is a request for help

Even though I have been blogging for years, I have not yet spent the time to build a blogging community.  What do you do to get your blogs circulated? How much time do you spend marketing your blog?

I am a firm believer that your blog is the foundation to ALL of your marketing. This is where you put all of your ‘stuff’; YouTube videos, programs, events and THEN you post your blog all over town! (the world actually) This part I know and do. And once you get that down pat, you will have a system that is ready to generate business. I post my blog on all my social media and send an email to my mailing list.

My audience is not growing 

If someone likes or reblogs my post, I am doing a happy dance. (FOR ONE REBLOG!). I know there are many of us missing out on the good stuff. The part where you have hundreds of views and people liking and commenting all day. What do YOU do to get that kind of traffic? How often do you promote the same blog? And for how long? Do you subscribe to blogging communities? Yes, I could pull up a video or a strangers blog to get this information, but hey, we want to build community, right?

We could sure use your insights so please comment below. Sorry, but due to a lot of spam, I will have to approve of the comments. If you know how to fix that, I would like to  know as well.

Thank you in advance for your support and happy blogging!

Fran

 

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach and founder of Thrive Any Way. Helping people systematize and automate their business and create an online presence. Find out more about how she helps entrepreneurs with her Virtual Project Partner Program

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From Stuck to Unstoppable

Many people are stuck when it comes to their To Do List, and could become immediately UNSTUCK if they only had a partner to accomplish their goals with. Let’s face it, something magical happens when you have support from someone who genuinely cares that you succeed. Don’t you agree? If you think this is you, then stop beating yourself up and start honoring the need to have a partner in accomplishing your goals. Contact Fran for more information. 

 

Think about all of your amazing projects and ideas just sitting there stagnant on your mental shelf …. you know, that digital product you want to create or those social media ads you want to put together. Maybe you want to organize and systematize your business or home but never get started. What do you think it’s costing you to have those tasks just SIT?

Now, imagine if you started completing them one by one…. comfortably, with a partner who will stay with you until they are DONE! How would that feel? You’d probably feel a huge relief from guilt and stress, right? You may also feel a long needed sense of pride of accomplishment. Yes, you can take a deep breath and feel it! Contact Fran for more information. 

Just know that you are not alone in needing support, or this program would not exist. When people find out that they are not procrastinators, but in fact they just do better with a partner, they feel as though they honored a real need and took affirmative action. The results of finally having completed projects are the proof! It’s similar to when someone finds out they have dyslexia and instead of beating themselves up, they realize that they just need to do things a little different.

It’s About Having a Brainstorming and Motivational Confidant, Even if you Have an Admin or Virtual Assistant.  

If you are looking to relax into the wisdom of another, where you can feel the ease of sharing the burden, then Project Partnering may be a good fit for you. It’s a wonderful experience to know there is another leader to fall back on. Someone you can call ‘partner, without devoting 50% of your profits to.  Choose well; someone who will do it WITH you and not FOR you.  Savvy, successful people know when to hire a professional to accomplish what they need.

As a life and business coach for many years, I find that my clients often do much better with ‘hand holding’ while tackling projects. I really love it when we get on an interactive screen-sharing call as we make progress completing their website or even creating an online store together.  The real-time conversation has us both on the same page, getting the job done much faster and with more ease. Most times I take the wheel as you direct, interact or just oversee the project, but we could always reverse the role if you want me to support you being the driver.

There are limitless projects we can do together from programming phones, setting up electronics, minor computer tweaking, launching  a social media contest to creating marketing plans. Heck, I’ve even been on a call where I supported a client while he cleaned out his storage unit. (you know who you are!). Contact Fran for more information. 

 

That’s why we should talk, to see what your project list looks like and start accomplishing it. Contact Fran for more information. 

So what are you looking to accomplish? What’s been gnawing at you for way too long?

  • Do you need someone to sit with you while you complete a project?
  • Would you like me to create graphics while you supervise?
  • Are you interested in opening an online store and it’s just too overwhelming to do alone?
  • How about learning  to schedule all your social media so you do it once and let it run itself?
  • Does the idea of having someone to brainstorm with about the future of your business or life sound appealing?

Get creative if you want to. We can get your contact management system started, design a logo  or write a blog. The point is, you just don’t have to do it alone any more!

It’s interactive, fun and productive as we collaborate on accomplishing your goals. Since you get to participate in the experience, you reap the reward of a completed task.

 

Oh, by the way, these interactive calls are casual, light and even fun! Come as you are to your computer. We sign in together, share a screen and start working on the project at hand.  At the end of each call, plan to feel a sense of accomplishment, partnership and motivation to keep going!  Contact Fran for more information. 

To get started all you need to do is Contact Fran for more information and download your access to Zoom – a free screen sharing program. We can record our sessions for your future reference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Purchase your Project Partner call today!

  

Let’s start out with a complimentary conversation to discuss your needs. OK?

 To set up your complimentary conversation, here are your options:

  • Call Fran directly: 772-777-1122
  • Text: 954-494-1940
  • Email Fran: fran@thriveanyway.com
  • Schedule it yourself, right here and let’s get this ball rolling!

 

Getting things done never felt so good!

 

I can’t wait to hear from you

 

** Printable gift certificates emailed upon request

*** Conventional Coaching Sessions are also available via phone or video call (all discounts apply).

 

Are you avoiding the most common Projects? Read my blog

I’ll Get to it Later! 8 Massively Important Entrepreneurial Projects the get Ignored

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How to recycle your business materialHow do you recycle or re-purpose your business material?

You’ve written an article, posted a ‘how to’ on social media, taught a class, spoke at an event or appeared on a radio or tv show. Now what? What do you do with all the gold that you shared to a group of people for one brief moment in time? Is it lost forever?  I hope not. I would hope that you know that you have the power to re-purpose your material and reuse it until it no longer serves.

I’ve included a few ways to repurpose your gifts so that they keep on giving. You don’t always have to create new material.  My suggestion is that you get into the mindset that you will keep your ‘stuff’ alive as long as you can. It comes in handy when you really need it.

Take a look and see how many you can utilize for yourself:

  1. Put it in a blog – probably the most important place to re-purpose is in a blog. Once you insert a video, audio or document your great information into a blog, all you have to do is share the link whenever its pertinent.
  2. Create a video about it – (I’ll be creating a ‘how to’ on that soon) If you have a PowerPoint presentation or a presentation that you can turn into a PowerPoint, then create a video and put it on YouTube where it will live in perpetuity.
  3. Put your info on Pinterest – Pinterest circulates pins over and over again. So if you create a graphic for your topic and then link it to your blog, you will get more attention
  4. Twitter – Not just twitter, but Hootesuite in particular. If you post a tweet on Hootesuite (there is a free version) you can save it as a draft and post it whenever the time is appropriate. I will scroll down my drafts and choose which items I want to retweet today and schedule them all day. Since the life of a tweet is so short, repeating the same tweet will probably reach a new audience each time.
  5. Giveaway – Offer your information as a product when someone hires you for your services. Let it be an incentive to take immediate action.
  6. Lead Magnet – Are you trying to build your list? Then offer an optin form on your blog or webpage and have people sign up to receive this amazing offer!
  7. Share – You can ask other high-profile people on social media to post your information in return for reposting theirs.
  8. Guest blogger – Find other bloggers who are looking for material, to post your information on their blog. (make sure they acknowledge you for your work)
  9. Webinar – If you think your little article was pertinent, you can build a webinar or teleclass around it. You can do it live or even prerecord it and then use that to share with others.
  10. Create an eBook – Once you have accumulated a few pieces of work, you can create an eBook and use it as an optin or even charge for it. People WILL pay to get all your work in one place.

These are just a few ways to repurpose your information. Do you have others? If so, please share them here.

I would appreciate it if you commented and shared this blog with others. Thank you!

Fran

 

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach and founder of Thrive Any Way. Helping people systematize and automate their business and create an online presence. Find out more about how she helps entrepreneurs with her Virtual Project Partner Program.  For questions or to schedule and appointment – Contact Fran Asaro

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10 Basic Tips on Dealing with Debt Collectors

If you’ve ever had someone call you about a past due bill, you know only too well how intimidating it is. Even if it was just an oversight on your part, you may still be inclined to feel low and worthless. If you have a history of bad credit, this will be amplified by the amount of calls multiplied by the collectors and their technique for getting money – It’s upsetting, discouraging and stressful to say the very least. We avoid answering our phones, knowing there will be that ‘message’ waiting for us. Friends may ask why you don’t answer certain calls and you may be too embarrassed to tell them that you are avoiding a collection call. Well, there is help.

If you would like to manage your debt collectors with a little less stress, take a look at these 10 Basic Tips to Dealing with Debt Collectors. I think knowing your rights and what to say will help ease the discomfort.

 

 

 

If you would like to discuss restoring your credit and having more buying power in your life, contact me at fran@thriveanyway.com or take a look at this short video  called FES Protection Plan

 

 

 

 

For more information on Restoring your credit go to ithriveanyway.com

Fran Asaro is a Business Coach and Agent with Financial Education Services – helping people restore credit and earn extra money as a credit repair agent. If you are interested in learning how you can earn money helping others, contact fran at fran@thriveanyway.com

 

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PUBLIC TRANSFORMATION – When you must change and you can’t leave

I had a call today with someone who seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth for the past several years. I left messages for her and I asked around as to what she’d been up to; and although I knew she was alive, I didn’t know what happened.

After our cordial beginning, the call lead to a deeper, more meaningful conversation. Like, ‘where have you been’? She generously shared the reason she ‘disappeared’. It seemed that she was re-inventing herself. You may have heard of the word. You may have even re-invented yourself at a time or two. Since I too have fallen off the face of the earth a couple of years ago, I really identified with her and our conversation went more smoothly than those I have with people who don’t understand what’s happening to me. Some think I am in a depression or had a nervous breakdown.  Some think I am sick with some terrible disease and I can’t tell you what others are thinking, but I can certainly feel that it’s not a supportive energy. I’m so glad I am beyond child rearing years or they might think I went away to have a baby!

There are people who just don’t get transformation. Transformation: An act, process, or instance of transforming or being transformed. A complete change in the appearance of character of something or someone. Synonyms: metamorphosis, overhaul, reconstruction, renewal, revamp, remake, rebuild… well, you get the point.

As a teenager, I remember telling my father that I wanted to ‘find myself’. Coming from a home that was wonderful but didn’t support nonconformity, I wasn’t in touch with my own thoughts, desires or creativity. I yearned for it but didn’t have the environment to develop in that area. My father was not mean. He was just old school and wanted to keep me protected and he thought that meant keeping me sheltered. So, whenever I said I wanted to ‘find myself’ he let me know emphatically, that I was being ridiculous and the statement was meaningless. hmm.

If you’ve read any kind of celebrity news, I am sure you’ve heard of child stars or even adult stars who were stereotyped and had to resort to drastic measures to change the way people saw them.  Sometimes they would disappear for years until they resurfaced as the new them. Then there are those who we watched go through it publicly and awkwardly.

Transformation is not easy to say the very least. And those of us who feel a pull to shift into the new and unknown version of ourselves go through a myriad of feelings, fears and resistance. The unknown is so scary but we are sure that we need to go there anyway. Our lives, our future, our spirit, our reputation, and every ounce of our being depends on it. We dig deeply into our souls, we journal, we ask questions, we practice innovative ways, we test, and we look to see if it feels ‘right’, then we continue this cyclical process until we have it right. Sort of like a recipe that you create, mix and bake. When it doesn’t seem just right, you start over – rinse and repeat.

Now, couple all of this pushing, pulling, twisting and churning and confusion while standing in front of friends, family, co-workers, even strangers? It’s like a freak show. The people around you who feel safe with the current you, are now panicking because you look, sound, dress or act differently. They don’t recognize you and if that’s not bad enough, they will not recognize the new you that you are testing out tomorrow.

What occurs is discomfort for all. They don’t like it at all and you, well, you feel thwarted and hesitant to keep going. You don’t want to hurt ‘them’. You can’t even explain your circumstance to them so, you might resist upsetting the apple cart, and you resign to stay ‘the same’. This inevitably pains you even more. Imagine a chick who can’t hatch or a butterfly who is held back from breaking out of its cocoon. It can’t be a positive outcome.

So, what does one do when they must change and have nowhere to do it privately. There are many avenues available to support your change, I’ll list a few below. But remember that your way is the best way. Choose the way that resonates with you. Use the list below just to help prompt that.

  1. Accept – Accept that you are about to embark on a journey that most people in your life aren’t going on. That doesn’t make you wrong, it makes you unique in your world, but not unique in THE world. Millions of people facilitate their own transformation.
  2. Soothe them – If you are going to transform in front of those you care about, it’s best to find the language that would help soothe their concerns. Let them know that you are in the process of changing and growing yourself. Your intent is that it will have a positive outcome for everyone. You are not sure what that means or how long it will last. Ask them to either support you or give you space. Let them know what supporting you looks like. (3 hours alone every week, or don’t ask too many questions or just ask them to trust you) Let them know that while you can’t always explain what you are experiencing, you will keep some sort of communication line open for them to ask questions.
  3. Seek – Look for paths to do your work. Will you need to go on a physical journey? While some go to India to work under a spiritual master, most people can’t. It’s OK, you can transform from anywhere. There are those who make due by going on a local retreat or silent weekend. Some begin to practice meditation and yoga. The idea is to look for the level that you are on and begin from there. For you, just journaling may help at first. For someone else, they want to catapult into their new phase and might do something much more extreme.
  4. Allow – Resisting this pull to change can be more uncomfortable and it will likely take longer to complete. If you start by allowing your process to evolve each day, you will find it a more pleasant experience.
  5. Patience – It’s not likely that your transformation will be complete in a moment. Depending on the level you want to shift, the time that you put into doing so and how much ‘allowing’ you are able to sustain, everyone’s experience is different. Be prepared for weeks, months or even years to fully complete. Some go through this regularly, because they are growth oriented and others may do this only once or twice in their lives. So be patient, not only with yourself but your progress and lack thereof.
  6. Alone Time – Begin to set aside time for you to be alone with yourself. That means, not only separate yourself from people, but your pets, your electronics and books. All distractions if possible. Unless you are reading or listening to something about personal and spiritual development, stay away from any outside influence.
  7. Move – Your body will begin to build up pockets of emotions that you’ve been holding on to and are now ready to be released. For instance, you may decide that you no longer want to be afraid of flying but you can still feel a pain in your neck when you think about it. Take time to gently and intentionally breathe through moving your neck or your entire body to move the stuck energy through and out. Find an expressive dance or just stretch and bend. Don’t let the negative feeling stay inside if you can help it.
  8. Soothe yourself – Ok, so you’ve learned to soothe those around you. Now it’s time to soothe yourself. What that means is, when things aren’t moving the way you want, learn to reassure yourself, or find someone who understands and can support you. Before you even need it, write down a few key phrases that you can turn to when you need to soothe yourself. Sometimes we forget why we are on this journey at all. So, a few reminders will help. ‘I’m recreating myself to be better at ______’. I deserve to know myself more deeply’. ‘I am tapping into my soul’s purpose’. Find your words that align with your reasons.
  9. Look backward – when you are working on your transformation, the road before you will always look long. You don’t know if and when the ‘end’ will show up and you don’t know what will be asked of you on that trip. One way to measure your growth is to look backward. Find a few vantage points to keep in your memory. Compare yourself to where you were last week, last month or last year. Take note of the progress. You may even want to document it for future feelings of despair.
  10. Play bigger – There is a reason you are going through your transformation – so that you can CHANGE for the better! There will be a lot of opportunity to continue to play small even with the new you. You may still be exposed those who gossip, drink too much or those who aren’t up to the same things that you are. If you can’t or don’t want to move beyond these people, you can at least be the influencer. For now on, you get to make a difference in their lives instead of them dragging you down. Play big, act like the leader you are. Make a difference!

If you are going through a transformation, use these tools to help you along. Get support when you need it. There’s nothing like having a seasoned individual guide you through the ups and downs.

Remember that your attitude makes an enormous difference. Here’s to the new you and a smooth ride!

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach helping Women Entrepreneurs from the inside out.

Woman on Fire – 10 Steps to Ignite yourself THEN your businessFree Report

Inside the Woman Entrepreneur – What works, What doesn’t – Take the Survey  – See what other women entrepreneurs are sharing

Visit her Thrive Any Way site.

Want to find out more about becoming an entrepreneur? Schedule a complimentary Session with Fran!

Follow her Thrive Any Way page on Facebook

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How a fun-loving, social, woman entrepreneur found out that she’d rather be alone

Watch the video below to learn about introversion

In a MILLION YEARS –

I would never have guessed that me, the outgoing, fun-loving, party giving, free-spirited me, was in fact an introvert! It will probably surprise the heck out of my family and friends to learn about this as well. Yes, I am coming out of the introverts closet right here and now.

I’ve been an ‘out there’ kind of person since I was about 19 years old. I was the one my ex-husband would push forward into any party situation proudly encouraging the words ‘Go get ’em Fran’. I was the one who was a successful sales person and entrepreneur. I have a mouth for goodness sake. One that has gotten me into a boat-load of trouble and one that has helped me find great success. I can’t be shy!  Oh, but wait! Being and introvert doesn’t necessarily mean that you are shy! Even though it says that you are in the dictionary. It also means that you are a person whose attention and interests are directed toward your own thoughts and feelings rather than external things. And you can be considered or perceived as reserved or shy.

The introvert who opened my eyes!

My weekly workshop for women entrepreneurs was a very interactive group (to say the least) There was  a lot of sharing, fun and self-expression. We had over 200 women who were members of the group with a weekly turn out of about 15 – 20 women.  We had our regulars who became the pillars of the group welcoming the new and supporting each other passionately. There were the one-timers who might not have felt a connection and they never returned. Hey, we weren’t for everyone. Then there were those who came more than once. Enough so that I would learn more about them. They would participate a bit and their faces started to become familiar. If  I noticed that those women weren’t coming, I would occasionally give them a call to encourage them to return. There was this one woman who I really liked. She was very quiet  and sat in the background mostly. She spoke with a level of gentleness and wisdom coupled with confidence and intentionality. She didn’t say much unless we addressed her, but when she did, she had no problem sharing something poignant. I started noticing that she was coming to group less and less. A  call here and there would bring her in for another time. On the last time she didn’t show, I sent her an email telling her that I missed her being in group. She responded with a few well thought out words along with the video below. ‘The Power of Introverts’ By Susan Cain.

I stopped everything I was doing and watched the video. My body started vibrating all over. I watched it again. And again. Not only did I now realize why this woman wasn’t coming to group (I so appreciated her poetic way of sharing it with me) but I was now sitting with information that would change the rest of my life. I saw myself in so many of the scenarios of her talk. Working alone, loving my own company, being more creative and happy in my own quiet space. The things that my extrovert friends would tease me about. ‘Come out and play Fran’. ‘Come to dinner with us Fran’. ‘Come away with us Fran’. No, No and NO! I was almost always a No. But it was often a painful No. As I began enjoying my own company more and more, I began wondering if something was wrong with me. Was I a workaholic, anti-social, agoraphobic? Even though I knew I wasn’t any of those (OK, maybe I work too much) I could never explain why I didn’t want to schedule anything. After all, I love people. I want them in my life. But apparently only as a spice. Not a main course.

BALANCE, BALANCE, BALANCE 

Another thing I learned in the video is that most people have a little bit of introvert and a little bit of extrovert in them. Apparently that’s called Ambivert. Some of us might lean towards one or the other but if they share traits of both, that’s supposedly ‘healthy’. I am apparently leaning towards introversion right now but who knows, I may be on the upside of a sine wave and round back to the wild and crazy social version of myself. Or not!

What I will continue to do is proudly nurture this realization not only for myself but for my clients who up until now may not have understood why they didn’t quite fit in the world of entrepreneurship. I have already begun helping them find quiet businesses that suit the introvert in them. It’s a rewarding experience for sure to help them find their purposeful place.

I have to tell you, it feels really good now that I have words to describe why I am the way I am. Hopefully people will not take it personally when I don’t show up for all their invitations. I might even send them this video to help them understand. Maybe a few of them will see an introvert in themselves and my hope is that they don’t resist it but start honoring that. You never know!

 

Thank you for reading!

Read Why I ran away from home and my business for 2 1/2 years – A story for women entrepreneurs who are  lost and disillusioned

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach helping Women Entrepreneurs create a Freedom-Based Lifestyle. Visit her Thrive Any Way site.

Want to find out more about becoming an entrepreneur? Schedule a complimentary Session with Fran!

Follow her Thrive Any Way page on Facebook

Please consider sharing, following and commenting on this blog. Thank you.

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A Story to help Women Entrepreneurs who are lost and disillusioned. Before reading, I would like to invite you to listen from a particular place. A place where you can either see yourself and gain strength from it or a place where you think of someone who is struggling and will pass it along to support them. It’s a bit lengthy. So, take your time – you deserve it.

2 1/2 years ago I ran away from home. Just for the record, I am a grown woman – and I lived alone at the time. What could possibly have caused me to pack up and walk away from a wonderful life filled with great friends and family. Why would I run away from a prolific community of women that I created and adored. What could have been so confronting that I nearly abandoned the career that touched my soul and help me touch others? Maybe things weren’t as great at I thought…

I am a life-long entrepreneur. I started an auto body repair shop with my ex-husband at 21 years old. We borrowed $2000 to open it and years later when I left it was generating almost $1 million per year. I loved creating that business from scratch and honoring our dream. We achieved a level of success that was rare for kids our age. Following my divorce I became a Realtor. After years of struggling to build something worth while, I found myself in the top 6% of my company in the world. Who knew? I loved building my business to a success, making my own rules as I went along. I took incredible pride in creating 2 successful businesses while following my own path.

I was not romanced by the money these businesses produced as much as I was haunted by the need to do something that felt deeply purposeful to me. The intense pull to become a life coach had been in my consciousness for many years. Even before I knew there was a name for it. Somewhat jokingly, my sister says I had been a coach since I was 3. People of all ages would come to me for inspiration and wise words. Sometimes I thought ‘Why me’? But to be honest, I fully embraced my gift of soothing others. It fit like a glove.

I threw my hat over the proverbial wall

After years of staying in a less than rewarding real estate career, I semi-courageously threw my hat over the wall and dove head first into the unknown. I became a Coach. I named my company Thrive Any Way because similar to my own life lessons, I wanted to help others Thrive beyond their limiting situations and thoughts.

I was on cloud 9 if you could imagine.  Here I was, doing what I had longed to do for so many years. I was getting paid to do what I passionately loved and was quite effective at. I was successful very quickly. I created women’s groups and I volunteered my time teaching self-esteem to domestic violence victims. I was so in my groove that I would cry from joy and content. Somehow I magnetically attracted all the clients I needed with minimal effort and I was on my way to a very comfortable lifestyle. I decided since I now had a mobile business that could live anywhere so I moved from my home of 36 years in South Florida and relocated to Stuart, Florida, where I knew no one (for a short time).  I sunk my teeth into my new town and met so many incredible people. I redesigned my business to be more face to face so that I could work with local groups and individuals. I had this vision for a few years and it was finally manifested.  I couldn’t be happier!

From Perfection to a disheartening realization

I chose to focus my coaching career on Women Entrepreneurs. After all, I was one, and had a load of experience to share. I began a weekly women’s group to teach entrepreneurship. I charged $5 to attend, but really, anyone could come. The group grew organically and flourished with the most amazingly talented women. I couldn’t have dreamed up something this big!  I can’t tell you how much fun it was, and how I was in my element just sharing my failures and successes in order to shorten the path of others. I loved helping women get through the challenges that come with being in business. The fears, the emotional ride, the keeping it all together and of course, the balance. I also taught the standards like marketing, communication and how to structure a business that suited their desired lifestyle. It was such a pleasant and rewarding experience for all of us.

However, eventually the ‘business’ of helping women entrepreneurs thrive caught on and the industry became saturated with opportunity to have more. Books, programs and mega coaching became the trend. The days of personalized, private coaching became a secondary option to mass training.

I began to observe a pattern that became troubling for me. As I watched women enthusiastically jump into entrepreneurship, somewhere along the line they didn’t look satisfied. I observed these women running around (literally and figuratively) chasing success. Off they went to seminar after seminar, networking groups, masterminds, luncheons and purchasing product after product. All in hopes of ‘making it’. Now these are all good things in and of themselves and even quite fun to a point. I’ve purchased products and even created some of my own. But eventually it becomes overkill. These women were exhausting to watch and be around. They didn’t come across as successful, just needy. They spent more time distracted by something outside themselves then in their business. Suddenly, ‘there’ seemed better than ‘here’ and the conversations always lead to another ‘thing’ that was going to save them, make them, help them. I stood back and watched and was completely saddened. I knew only too well the vicious cycle they were on and am so grateful that when I got caught up in a similar circle, someone dear to me pointed it out and I have been mindful of what I choose to expose myself to ever since.

Disillusionment kills the spirit

I’m sure many people face the evolution of their chosen career and have to make a choice of whether to conform or not. I can change with the times like it’s nobody’s business, but I became disillusioned by what was happening to my beautiful industry. The  very one that took my breath away just a few years earlier. I became so confused. Did I now hate coaching or did I hate what happened to it? It suddenly became a numbers game and who were the losers? Those that needed heartfelt partnership and got generalized support.

I tried to go with it. I tried to do it the new way. The more I did, the less joy I felt and the less I wanted to be here. I went through so many internal thoughts. ‘Maybe I’m not really a coach, maybe what I am is something else and I am in the wrong career’. ‘Have I become a dinosaur? Like the one I talk to my clients about; where I am not up to the times?’ These and many other thoughts began to kill my spirit and love for my work. All I wanted to do was help women pace themselves so that they could have a more balanced life. Women NEED a balanced life with family, friends, me-time and partner time. I wanted to help them do business like a woman. And for those who started a business late in life, I wanted to help them do age appropriate business and not like a 20 year old.

The Conscious Capitalist leaves home

I love to make lots of  money. I love stuff. I was trained at a very young age to make lots of money. When I was 18 I worked in phone sales. I made $1000 per week in the late 70’s. That was about 5 times a normal income at the time. Sales training became part of my education throughout my life and I was very successful because of it. I don’t know if it’s my age talking or the line or work that I am in, but one day I realized I needed to throw all my sales training out the window and begin to connect with people on a different level. Breaking old patterns of sales techniques became one of the toughest things I have ever had to do. To this day even though I connect to my clients on a very deep level, I feel like my marketing comes across like a used car salesmen. (no offense, just a visual)

With my disillusionment about my career and my inability to convey myself effectively to those who would genuinely benefit from my gifts, I stepped away from my life and business. I didn’t know that at the time exactly, but in retrospect, I was.

An indefinite Good-Bye 

There were a series of events leading up to my running away. I stopped magnetically drawing clients to me while in my state of unknowing. I didn’t quite understand what was happening but at some level I didn’t want to keep up a lie, pretending I belonged in this same space that I created. Ironically, the beautiful home I rented for 3 years was no longer available. I now look at that as a blessing since money became scarce. I felt like a woman without a purpose. I wasn’t unhappy, just lost in a passion without a home. Since it was the heart of the tourist season and difficult to find a home, I decided to go stay with a friend for a while who lived a few hours away. I didn’t know it would turn out to be a long while.

Before I left, my women’s group gave me an emotional sendoff. A party that still touches my heart with testimonials and loads of love. I walked away with such inner conflict. I loved them but I didn’t love who I was for them. I knew deep in my heart I had more to give. I resented the amount of hours I put into creating a group that didn’t light me up any more or speak to the new version of me that I had to offer. I didn’t know how to make that transition right there in front of them. So, leaving helped. But it also scared the daylights out of me. Was I ever going to come home? Would I reconnect with my group? What would my new version of life look like?

Opposition thwarts Growth

How many of us try to honor our path to healing or growth but others don’t support us in that?  We take so much longer to get there while trying to dodge the opposition, right? There I was in Ocala, Florida, staying with a dear friend and his father. I thought it was going to be for a few weeks, a month at the most, before I went back home. I had no idea how lost I really was. I would sit in front of my computer day in and day out doing what I normally do. Working. Working. Learning. Creating. For what? I couldn’t tap into my groove. Did I lose it? All I know is that I kept my coaching business to a minimum with a few select clients while I immersed myself in meditation, self inquiry and a lot of rest to try to figure it all out.

For many years I felt a pull to spend time in a monastery to clear myself for a new beginning. I could never make that commitment because I have pets and didn’t want to leave them for a long period of time. I decided to look at this experience as a quasi monastery. I was in a beautiful home on a lake. I had very little distraction and I had a lot of time to rethink my life. This could really work.

Then the opposition began trickling in. I didn’t have to let it in, but I did. ‘What’s wrong?’ , ‘When are you coming home’? ‘What are you working on?’ ‘How could someone so smart be having such a tough time’, ‘What’s taking so long?’

I was in a very cushy environment. I could have just focused on what I was there to do and nothing else. But no! I allowed my own ‘make wrong’ thoughts and those of others to steer me towards putting out less than authentic versions of me. Who was I to have the luxury of not working, dammit. ‘Fran, put something out there so people know you are alive’. So I did. and it felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t necessarily the wrong material. It was the wrong timing. I was in healing and recreating mode. I needed to honor whatever time required. The problem was that I couldn’t soothe those who were concerned about me. I couldn’t convey that this was a ‘good’ time. I couldn’t convey it to myself either.

Part Two of my Journey – My Teacher appears

This story would be a book if I shared every detail of my experience. I will eventually share between the lines, but not today. After a year and a half in Ocala, where I felt I was complete with the experience of being there but still had no idea what that meant for my future, I got a phone call from friends of 30 years. They invited me to come stay with them in Raleigh, NC for a priceless exchange of energy. One of them being that I was going to be living with my most influential teacher ever. How perfect can things get?

Living with a teacher you absolutely adore is not always comfortable. I found out that I am not always coachable! Go figure! But after staying for a year, so much was absorbed and I hope retained. While I am still processing an enormous amount, I realize that the path I was on and bucking was not the issue but the resistance towards it was. I have resisted who I am for my community. I have resisted the magnitude of my gifts and the amount of women who truly need what I have to offer. I resisted that the pace and the way I want to do business does not make me a dinosaur and that I AM in fact a coach. Not only did all of this shift my life, but it makes me excited to share it with other women looking to find themselves in their life and business. While I still love to teach the facets of entrepreneurship, my passion is to clear the space for it to happen with ease and joy. That truly lights me up!

The Gentler Me Emerges

One of the areas of focus with my teacher was to develop the left side of my brain. I lived in a self-created bubble – as a Pollyanna. I was quite proud of the life where I avoided all negativity and adversity. But apparently great leaders don’t live in bubbles. They manage adversity.  So I was intensely exposed to so much male energy that I thought I would die! I watched the news, politics, sci-fi and technology shows. I signed up for computer programming, math classes and purchased an electronics starter kit. I even went to a ham radio festival! Most importantly, I became a successful gamer who shoots and uses a sword (yes there were tears when I killed my first alien). With gaming I learned to buck up in challenging situations. I learned to defend myself instead of run away. I learned I am so much stronger than I allowed myself to be because I thought it would take away the gentle part of me that I loved and put forward.

At first I was so upset with the initial invasion of my male side. However, I was comforted from the very beginning that building my left brain would not create a more masculine Fran.  So, while I plan to continue stimulating my left side, I am proud to say that I feel more gentle and loving than ever. I will now be bringing both sides of me to a situation and I feel more prepared to support a balanced life. I am eternally grateful to the man who brought me to tears because of my resistance to being WHOLE!

As I approach the end of this part of my journey I am not clear as to what’s next. Apparently I still have a few more miles to go. What I do know is that I will embrace the unknown much better and I will pass along what I know to those who see themselves in this experience.

My message for you today is this:  You don’t have to run away to connect to your inner home. 

OMG! I’m an Introvert! Read how a fun-loving social woman found out that she’d rather be alone

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach helping Women Entrepreneurs create a Freedom-Based Lifestyle. Visit her Thrive Any Way site.

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My 17 year old run away partner Johnnie cat

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