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How a fun-loving, social, woman entrepreneur found out that she’d rather be alone

Watch the video below to learn about introversion

In a MILLION YEARS –

I would never have guessed that me, the outgoing, fun-loving, party giving, free-spirited me, was in fact an introvert! It will probably surprise the heck out of my family and friends to learn about this as well. Yes, I am coming out of the introverts closet right here and now.

I’ve been an ‘out there’ kind of person since I was about 19 years old. I was the one my ex-husband would push forward into any party situation proudly encouraging the words ‘Go get ’em Fran’. I was the one who was a successful sales person and entrepreneur. I have a mouth for goodness sake. One that has gotten me into a boat-load of trouble and one that has helped me find great success. I can’t be shy!  Oh, but wait! Being and introvert doesn’t necessarily mean that you are shy! Even though it says that you are in the dictionary. It also means that you are a person whose attention and interests are directed toward your own thoughts and feelings rather than external things. And you can be considered or perceived as reserved or shy.

The introvert who opened my eyes!

My weekly workshop for women entrepreneurs was a very interactive group (to say the least) There was  a lot of sharing, fun and self-expression. We had over 200 women who were members of the group with a weekly turn out of about 15 – 20 women.  We had our regulars who became the pillars of the group welcoming the new and supporting each other passionately. There were the one-timers who might not have felt a connection and they never returned. Hey, we weren’t for everyone. Then there were those who came more than once. Enough so that I would learn more about them. They would participate a bit and their faces started to become familiar. If  I noticed that those women weren’t coming, I would occasionally give them a call to encourage them to return. There was this one woman who I really liked. She was very quiet  and sat in the background mostly. She spoke with a level of gentleness and wisdom coupled with confidence and intentionality. She didn’t say much unless we addressed her, but when she did, she had no problem sharing something poignant. I started noticing that she was coming to group less and less. A  call here and there would bring her in for another time. On the last time she didn’t show, I sent her an email telling her that I missed her being in group. She responded with a few well thought out words along with the video below. ‘The Power of Introverts’ By Susan Cain.

I stopped everything I was doing and watched the video. My body started vibrating all over. I watched it again. And again. Not only did I now realize why this woman wasn’t coming to group (I so appreciated her poetic way of sharing it with me) but I was now sitting with information that would change the rest of my life. I saw myself in so many of the scenarios of her talk. Working alone, loving my own company, being more creative and happy in my own quiet space. The things that my extrovert friends would tease me about. ‘Come out and play Fran’. ‘Come to dinner with us Fran’. ‘Come away with us Fran’. No, No and NO! I was almost always a No. But it was often a painful No. As I began enjoying my own company more and more, I began wondering if something was wrong with me. Was I a workaholic, anti-social, agoraphobic? Even though I knew I wasn’t any of those (OK, maybe I work too much) I could never explain why I didn’t want to schedule anything. After all, I love people. I want them in my life. But apparently only as a spice. Not a main course.

BALANCE, BALANCE, BALANCE 

Another thing I learned in the video is that most people have a little bit of introvert and a little bit of extrovert in them. Apparently that’s called Ambivert. Some of us might lean towards one or the other but if they share traits of both, that’s supposedly ‘healthy’. I am apparently leaning towards introversion right now but who knows, I may be on the upside of a sine wave and round back to the wild and crazy social version of myself. Or not!

What I will continue to do is proudly nurture this realization not only for myself but for my clients who up until now may not have understood why they didn’t quite fit in the world of entrepreneurship. I have already begun helping them find quiet businesses that suit the introvert in them. It’s a rewarding experience for sure to help them find their purposeful place.

I have to tell you, it feels really good now that I have words to describe why I am the way I am. Hopefully people will not take it personally when I don’t show up for all their invitations. I might even send them this video to help them understand. Maybe a few of them will see an introvert in themselves and my hope is that they don’t resist it but start honoring that. You never know!

 

Thank you for reading!

Read Why I ran away from home and my business for 2 1/2 years – A story for women entrepreneurs who are  lost and disillusioned

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach helping Women Entrepreneurs create a Freedom-Based Lifestyle. Visit her Thrive Any Way site.

Want to find out more about becoming an entrepreneur? Schedule a complimentary Session with Fran!

Follow her Thrive Any Way page on Facebook

Please consider sharing, following and commenting on this blog. Thank you.

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A Story to help Women Entrepreneurs who are lost and disillusioned. Before reading, I would like to invite you to listen from a particular place. A place where you can either see yourself and gain strength from it or a place where you think of someone who is struggling and will pass it along to support them. It’s a bit lengthy. So, take your time – you deserve it.

2 1/2 years ago I ran away from home. Just for the record, I am a grown woman – and I lived alone at the time. What could possibly have caused me to pack up and walk away from a wonderful life filled with great friends and family. Why would I run away from a prolific community of women that I created and adored. What could have been so confronting that I nearly abandoned the career that touched my soul and help me touch others? Maybe things weren’t as great at I thought…

I am a life-long entrepreneur. I started an auto body repair shop with my ex-husband at 21 years old. We borrowed $2000 to open it and years later when I left it was generating almost $1 million per year. I loved creating that business from scratch and honoring our dream. We achieved a level of success that was rare for kids our age. Following my divorce I became a Realtor. After years of struggling to build something worth while, I found myself in the top 6% of my company in the world. Who knew? I loved building my business to a success, making my own rules as I went along. I took incredible pride in creating 2 successful businesses while following my own path.

I was not romanced by the money these businesses produced as much as I was haunted by the need to do something that felt deeply purposeful to me. The intense pull to become a life coach had been in my consciousness for many years. Even before I knew there was a name for it. Somewhat jokingly, my sister says I had been a coach since I was 3. People of all ages would come to me for inspiration and wise words. Sometimes I thought ‘Why me’? But to be honest, I fully embraced my gift of soothing others. It fit like a glove.

I threw my hat over the proverbial wall

After years of staying in a less than rewarding real estate career, I semi-courageously threw my hat over the wall and dove head first into the unknown. I became a Coach. I named my company Thrive Any Way because similar to my own life lessons, I wanted to help others Thrive beyond their limiting situations and thoughts.

I was on cloud 9 if you could imagine.  Here I was, doing what I had longed to do for so many years. I was getting paid to do what I passionately loved and was quite effective at. I was successful very quickly. I created women’s groups and I volunteered my time teaching self-esteem to domestic violence victims. I was so in my groove that I would cry from joy and content. Somehow I magnetically attracted all the clients I needed with minimal effort and I was on my way to a very comfortable lifestyle. I decided since I now had a mobile business that could live anywhere so I moved from my home of 36 years in South Florida and relocated to Stuart, Florida, where I knew no one (for a short time).  I sunk my teeth into my new town and met so many incredible people. I redesigned my business to be more face to face so that I could work with local groups and individuals. I had this vision for a few years and it was finally manifested.  I couldn’t be happier!

From Perfection to a disheartening realization

I chose to focus my coaching career on Women Entrepreneurs. After all, I was one, and had a load of experience to share. I began a weekly women’s group to teach entrepreneurship. I charged $5 to attend, but really, anyone could come. The group grew organically and flourished with the most amazingly talented women. I couldn’t have dreamed up something this big!  I can’t tell you how much fun it was, and how I was in my element just sharing my failures and successes in order to shorten the path of others. I loved helping women get through the challenges that come with being in business. The fears, the emotional ride, the keeping it all together and of course, the balance. I also taught the standards like marketing, communication and how to structure a business that suited their desired lifestyle. It was such a pleasant and rewarding experience for all of us.

However, eventually the ‘business’ of helping women entrepreneurs thrive caught on and the industry became saturated with opportunity to have more. Books, programs and mega coaching became the trend. The days of personalized, private coaching became a secondary option to mass training.

I began to observe a pattern that became troubling for me. As I watched women enthusiastically jump into entrepreneurship, somewhere along the line they didn’t look satisfied. I observed these women running around (literally and figuratively) chasing success. Off they went to seminar after seminar, networking groups, masterminds, luncheons and purchasing product after product. All in hopes of ‘making it’. Now these are all good things in and of themselves and even quite fun to a point. I’ve purchased products and even created some of my own. But eventually it becomes overkill. These women were exhausting to watch and be around. They didn’t come across as successful, just needy. They spent more time distracted by something outside themselves then in their business. Suddenly, ‘there’ seemed better than ‘here’ and the conversations always lead to another ‘thing’ that was going to save them, make them, help them. I stood back and watched and was completely saddened. I knew only too well the vicious cycle they were on and am so grateful that when I got caught up in a similar circle, someone dear to me pointed it out and I have been mindful of what I choose to expose myself to ever since.

Disillusionment kills the spirit

I’m sure many people face the evolution of their chosen career and have to make a choice of whether to conform or not. I can change with the times like it’s nobody’s business, but I became disillusioned by what was happening to my beautiful industry. The  very one that took my breath away just a few years earlier. I became so confused. Did I now hate coaching or did I hate what happened to it? It suddenly became a numbers game and who were the losers? Those that needed heartfelt partnership and got generalized support.

I tried to go with it. I tried to do it the new way. The more I did, the less joy I felt and the less I wanted to be here. I went through so many internal thoughts. ‘Maybe I’m not really a coach, maybe what I am is something else and I am in the wrong career’. ‘Have I become a dinosaur? Like the one I talk to my clients about; where I am not up to the times?’ These and many other thoughts began to kill my spirit and love for my work. All I wanted to do was help women pace themselves so that they could have a more balanced life. Women NEED a balanced life with family, friends, me-time and partner time. I wanted to help them do business like a woman. And for those who started a business late in life, I wanted to help them do age appropriate business and not like a 20 year old.

The Conscious Capitalist leaves home

I love to make lots of  money. I love stuff. I was trained at a very young age to make lots of money. When I was 18 I worked in phone sales. I made $1000 per week in the late 70’s. That was about 5 times a normal income at the time. Sales training became part of my education throughout my life and I was very successful because of it. I don’t know if it’s my age talking or the line or work that I am in, but one day I realized I needed to throw all my sales training out the window and begin to connect with people on a different level. Breaking old patterns of sales techniques became one of the toughest things I have ever had to do. To this day even though I connect to my clients on a very deep level, I feel like my marketing comes across like a used car salesmen. (no offense, just a visual)

With my disillusionment about my career and my inability to convey myself effectively to those who would genuinely benefit from my gifts, I stepped away from my life and business. I didn’t know that at the time exactly, but in retrospect, I was.

An indefinite Good-Bye 

There were a series of events leading up to my running away. I stopped magnetically drawing clients to me while in my state of unknowing. I didn’t quite understand what was happening but at some level I didn’t want to keep up a lie, pretending I belonged in this same space that I created. Ironically, the beautiful home I rented for 3 years was no longer available. I now look at that as a blessing since money became scarce. I felt like a woman without a purpose. I wasn’t unhappy, just lost in a passion without a home. Since it was the heart of the tourist season and difficult to find a home, I decided to go stay with a friend for a while who lived a few hours away. I didn’t know it would turn out to be a long while.

Before I left, my women’s group gave me an emotional sendoff. A party that still touches my heart with testimonials and loads of love. I walked away with such inner conflict. I loved them but I didn’t love who I was for them. I knew deep in my heart I had more to give. I resented the amount of hours I put into creating a group that didn’t light me up any more or speak to the new version of me that I had to offer. I didn’t know how to make that transition right there in front of them. So, leaving helped. But it also scared the daylights out of me. Was I ever going to come home? Would I reconnect with my group? What would my new version of life look like?

Opposition thwarts Growth

How many of us try to honor our path to healing or growth but others don’t support us in that?  We take so much longer to get there while trying to dodge the opposition, right? There I was in Ocala, Florida, staying with a dear friend and his father. I thought it was going to be for a few weeks, a month at the most, before I went back home. I had no idea how lost I really was. I would sit in front of my computer day in and day out doing what I normally do. Working. Working. Learning. Creating. For what? I couldn’t tap into my groove. Did I lose it? All I know is that I kept my coaching business to a minimum with a few select clients while I immersed myself in meditation, self inquiry and a lot of rest to try to figure it all out.

For many years I felt a pull to spend time in a monastery to clear myself for a new beginning. I could never make that commitment because I have pets and didn’t want to leave them for a long period of time. I decided to look at this experience as a quasi monastery. I was in a beautiful home on a lake. I had very little distraction and I had a lot of time to rethink my life. This could really work.

Then the opposition began trickling in. I didn’t have to let it in, but I did. ‘What’s wrong?’ , ‘When are you coming home’? ‘What are you working on?’ ‘How could someone so smart be having such a tough time’, ‘What’s taking so long?’

I was in a very cushy environment. I could have just focused on what I was there to do and nothing else. But no! I allowed my own ‘make wrong’ thoughts and those of others to steer me towards putting out less than authentic versions of me. Who was I to have the luxury of not working, dammit. ‘Fran, put something out there so people know you are alive’. So I did. and it felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t necessarily the wrong material. It was the wrong timing. I was in healing and recreating mode. I needed to honor whatever time required. The problem was that I couldn’t soothe those who were concerned about me. I couldn’t convey that this was a ‘good’ time. I couldn’t convey it to myself either.

Part Two of my Journey – My Teacher appears

This story would be a book if I shared every detail of my experience. I will eventually share between the lines, but not today. After a year and a half in Ocala, where I felt I was complete with the experience of being there but still had no idea what that meant for my future, I got a phone call from friends of 30 years. They invited me to come stay with them in Raleigh, NC for a priceless exchange of energy. One of them being that I was going to be living with my most influential teacher ever. How perfect can things get?

Living with a teacher you absolutely adore is not always comfortable. I found out that I am not always coachable! Go figure! But after staying for a year, so much was absorbed and I hope retained. While I am still processing an enormous amount, I realize that the path I was on and bucking was not the issue but the resistance towards it was. I have resisted who I am for my community. I have resisted the magnitude of my gifts and the amount of women who truly need what I have to offer. I resisted that the pace and the way I want to do business does not make me a dinosaur and that I AM in fact a coach. Not only did all of this shift my life, but it makes me excited to share it with other women looking to find themselves in their life and business. While I still love to teach the facets of entrepreneurship, my passion is to clear the space for it to happen with ease and joy. That truly lights me up!

The Gentler Me Emerges

One of the areas of focus with my teacher was to develop the left side of my brain. I lived in a self-created bubble – as a Pollyanna. I was quite proud of the life where I avoided all negativity and adversity. But apparently great leaders don’t live in bubbles. They manage adversity.  So I was intensely exposed to so much male energy that I thought I would die! I watched the news, politics, sci-fi and technology shows. I signed up for computer programming, math classes and purchased an electronics starter kit. I even went to a ham radio festival! Most importantly, I became a successful gamer who shoots and uses a sword (yes there were tears when I killed my first alien). With gaming I learned to buck up in challenging situations. I learned to defend myself instead of run away. I learned I am so much stronger than I allowed myself to be because I thought it would take away the gentle part of me that I loved and put forward.

At first I was so upset with the initial invasion of my male side. However, I was comforted from the very beginning that building my left brain would not create a more masculine Fran.  So, while I plan to continue stimulating my left side, I am proud to say that I feel more gentle and loving than ever. I will now be bringing both sides of me to a situation and I feel more prepared to support a balanced life. I am eternally grateful to the man who brought me to tears because of my resistance to being WHOLE!

As I approach the end of this part of my journey I am not clear as to what’s next. Apparently I still have a few more miles to go. What I do know is that I will embrace the unknown much better and I will pass along what I know to those who see themselves in this experience.

My message for you today is this:  You don’t have to run away to connect to your inner home. 

OMG! I’m an Introvert! Read how a fun-loving social woman found out that she’d rather be alone

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach helping Women Entrepreneurs create a Freedom-Based Lifestyle. Visit her Thrive Any Way site.

Want to find out more about becoming an entrepreneur? Schedule a complimentary Session with Fran!

Follow her Thrive Any Way page on Facebook

Please consider sharing, following and commenting on this blog. Thank you.

My 17 year old run away partner Johnnie cat

Want to contact Fran privately?


Download your Free Mp3 Copy of

Falling In Love with Money’ 150 Affirmations to Attract Money

falling in love with moneyMany of us have a poor relationship with money at some time or another and it’s often due to circumstances beyond our control. Maybe we lost a job or we had a family emergency that took us to our financial knees. Maybe we never learned how to manage money in the first place and our bank accounts are suffering or non-existent.

Maybe you blame yourself for not doing enough or being enough to have a positive cash flow. Possibly, you blame the world or someone close to you for being the reason you live in lack. You may think that making money is hard, impossible, or something that someone else has, but not you.

If you’ve ever read any spiritual books about money, you must have read that Money is energy and if we retrained ourselves to start the energy flow TOWARDS us instead of AWAY from us we would see a significant difference in our financial world.Wouldn’t it be nice to see money show up easily and without effort?

While attracting money is a simple exercise, it’s not that easy to just change thoughts when we can’t pay a bill or don’t see an end in sight with our debt. That’s why I created this MP3 for those who REALLY want to retrain their thinking but have so much negativity in their lives when it comes to money that they can’t think that positive or affirming thought. I wanted to make it easy to start the ball rolling.

Falling in Love with Money provides 150 Bold and Deliberate declarations with the Law of Attraction philosophy in mind.  It’s not for the faint of heart however. These are statements designed to empower you so be ready to feel a tug if you hear an affirmation that rattles that weak link of yours.   I am also including the PDF version of these affirmations so you get to read along. The more you listen to this and read it, the more you will retrain your thinking about money. The more you retrain your thinking, the more positive the results.

Have fun and enjoy loving and attracting loads of money! Get your copy Now!

Enthusiastically,

Fran

YES! Send me my copy of Falling In Love with Money Now

 

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dinosaur-to-dynamo-2Are you a dinosaur?

A dinosaur is a term used for those who are behind the times in technology and business. Maybe there was a time when you were ON YOUR GAME and well paid for it. Or maybe there was a time you were a whiz at something but that something has become ‘nothing’ and you don’t know what the NEW thing is all about. What happened? Well, life happens, and just like when you purchase electronics and they become outdated the moment you walk out the door with them, the same goes for any of us who may have ‘left’ our industry. Did we become extinct?

Well, what happened is that things really changed and all of a sudden you don’t know how to use Microsoft office anymore and what the heck happened to just mailing out your marketing pieces? When did life start going so fast and how did I miss it?

Whether you stepped out to be a stay at home parent, decided to do something different or maybe you just re-entered the work world after a long time away for personal reasons, things change and if you didn’t stay on top of them, I’m sorry to say, you are now considered a dinosaur.

So what do you do? Do you have to go back to school? Start all over? Give up? They are all options of course, but as a life and business coach who works with many baby boomers who are starting over for many reasons including transitioning from corporate America to Entrepreneurship or living out a life’s passion to make a difference in the world, I know only too well how challenging it can be to delve into the world of the new and different.

While I always encourage my clients to get educated in some way about what’s new in business, I want to speak to those who are repulsed by the thought of learning something they don’t care about or can’t comprehend.

I’m here to tell you that being successful even though you are a dinosaur is very doable. Many people are doing it right now. You may not even recognize a fellow dinosaur because they are implementing some of the following tips and to be honest, they look like they know what they are doing!

Take a look below and before you throw in the towel on your vision, give your new adventure another try. Even if the items below still scare the daylights out of you, keep reading and do those things that you are willing. Who knows, the rest may fall into place. Dinosaurs typically move slowly…. But they move just the same.

Here are my top 7 Tips to go from Dinosaur to Dynamo. You can do this!!!

  1. List of your strengths and weaknesses – Right now you may feel like a dinosaur in ALL areas of business. Chances are you are only falling short in a few. Make a list of those things you feel confident in. Then make a list of the areas where you need support or training. Now that you have more clarity, you will be able to fill in the gaps more easily.  Example: You many be excellent in your trade or with Networking but you are computer challenged and don’t even know what Social Media is and why it’s important.
  2. Subscribe to your industry related magazine – Most industries have a magazine that will keep you up to date on the changes being made and how to keep up. Find yours and read it religiously. Even if the wording is foreign, absorb what you can. Read the rest of these tips to help with the vague areas.
  3. Research industry related software programs – I have had 3 separate industry related software programs in my career and I will tell you that it was a life saver and a business creator. When you invest in a program specifically for your business, the creators of the software KNOW your world and usually provide what you need to look like a pro instantly. These features often include a contact management system, a ready built website, a blog, a predesigned autoresponder program, invoicing and so much more. They often offer a free trial for 30 days. Try it by adding a few sample clients to it and test it out. Warning, once again, if you are a true dinosaur, this will be very confronting – your job is NOT to learn it completely, but to know your options for future action.
  4. Seek out Freelancers – If you are really great at what you do and yet you aren’t great with marketing or social media, I hope you realize that your talents mean something. I always say, ‘you don’t have to do everything; you just need to get it done’. Learn who is out there serving people just like you – those who need help in marketing and technology. There are many sites where you can hire a freelancer, two of my favorites are fiverr.com (where most items are only $5) and Upwork.com (where you can hire a professional from all over the world at very affordable prices) You are NOT alone as a dinosaur and there are people who cater to you… REALLY
  5. Build your Team – Invest in outsourcing – You may be thinking, “I don’t have the funds to build a team”. I certainly understand that. I too have been in that predicament. I have been known to hire someone for just 2 hours a week until I could do more. Most of my trial people moved on to full time employees or outsourced professionals. Once you choose your team of desired business vendors, start outsourcing slowly. Choose a budget and find the largest need. Start with one freelancer at first and build as you get steadier.
  6. Join an existing team – As a former Realtor, I am often approached to coach new Realtors. Many of them are full-fledged self-starters and I am able to help them be autonomous in the business. However, there are those who are neither able to nor interested in doing all the facets of their industry. Or maybe they are not willing to put in all the hours that are necessary to build themselves. To those people I suggest they join a team of people who strategically work together where each provides a piece of the business puzzle. One may get leads, one may do leg work or review contracts and others may do administrative work. If you don’t want to build your own team, then join one. If you are a coach, join a coaching group. Chances are there is a co-op or group in your industry either locally or on-line.
  7. Hire a Coach – Speaking of Coach – Hiring a coach who can help you with resources, structure and motivation is always to your advantage. Look at how many successful people out there have their own coach. Why shouldn’t you? I will strongly suggest this however, many coaches go at their own pace and if you join a program of theirs and you are a dinosaur, chances are you will fall behind. Find a coach who will give you personal service and go at YOUR pace, not theirs.

These are just a few of the ways a ‘dinosaur’ can thrive in business. It’s possible and it’s done all the time. What you want to do is trust yourself if you feel inclined to build a business and trust that there is a way to get there in spite of your limitations. Just so you know; we ALL have limitations. A good business person typically does not do it ALL anyway. We don’t call them a dinosaur, we call them SMART!  So get smart and let someone else help you shine.

 

Fran Asaro is the founder of Thrive Any Way Personal and Business Coaching. Helping entrepreneurs thrive in all areas of their lives. Contact Fran at Fran@thriveanyway.com or go to www.thriveanyway.com

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Thriving with Feeling

It’s not a new concept that your thoughts are things. What you think about comes to you. As a Coach I run across many people who study the law of attraction, yet still find themselves short of their ideal life and outcome. Why is that?

It’s certainly not because one person deserves a better life then another. It could be however that a series of things are out of play.

Affirmations used to play a major role in personal development. We repeated wonderful declarations in hope for a better life.

Then we learned about direction of thought which seemed like Affirmations on steroids. If we thought about what we really wanted it would come to fruition.

After that, the concept of ‘Asking‘ became a new ingredient into the soup of making sure you express your desires. Make sure you are specific they said. (which is a bit different from my teaching – see below)

Then being open to  ‘receiving’ became the next missing link for those who still hadn’t gotten their just rewards. Know that you are worthy.

Since then, ‘aligning’ with your direct thought has become a major factor in the equation. Get into the vibration of what you want to manifest.

Are you getting tired yet? Is there an end to the formula? I am not sure. I am certainly an advocate and teacher of the law of attraction. I just want everyone to reap the rewards. So what could I possibly add to this plethora of tools to ensure that we create it all?

Well, I have a few things. Yes a few more things to add.

The first one has to do with my statement above about being specific. I have found many a person forcing themselves to be clear about what they want just so they can play the ‘game’ correctly. There they become committed to a certain amount of money, a definite type of partner or a home with all the details. If they didn’t get exactly that, they called the process a failure.

For years I have tried to lighten up the pressure of that type of commitment and asked my clients to instead get VERY SPECIFIC on how they want to FEEL when they get ‘there’. You see, we may not always know what we want but we ALWAYS know how we want to FEEL.

So my suggestion is that you align with a feeling and not a ‘thing’. Sit for a bit in silence and feel the way an ideal life feels. Peaceful, adventurous, easy, secure? There are so many choices based on your desires. For me, I love to feel ease, fun and freedom with abundant energy. Take a look and allow yourself to bask in the delights of the way you want to feel.

My second suggestion is that you bring frequency into the pot. What that means is, that you get the results directly related to the energy you put in. So if you allow yourself to feel your desired feelings for 5 minutes a day, and nothing is shaking… then do it more frequently. You deserve this.

 

Wasting the Day Away Guilt



Did you ever have a day where you don’t feel like doing anything? You know the days where you want to stay in bed or on the couch watching TV or reading a book?How do feel when you have those days? Are you able to fully relax and enjoy the time off or do you have underlying guilt for not accomplishing whatever you think it is you should be doing instead of what you are doing?

Do you think you have to be sick in order to validate downtime? And therefore, do you get sick often to allow yourself this time?

‘Wasting the Day away guilt’ is a syndrome that I suffer from for many years. Ever since second grade when a teacher wrote on my report card that “Fran does not make good use of her time”.  I have struggled with the feeling of not doing the right thing at the right time. Somewhere I believe that the busier I am the better I am.

Thank goodness for a wise woman who told me once that doing nothing could actually be the most productive thing at the time. And I will tell you I have to remind myself of that when I decide to “waste the day away”. I now have much less guilt and much less remorse when I take these days because I see how doing so provides a much better tomorrow for me. One with a clear head, newfound energy, and a rested body, mind and spirit.

I encourage anyone to take time off if they have not had replenishment, regrouping and rejuvenation time in a long time. It’s not a luxury it’s a necessity to be the best you there could be. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty, you deserve it.

Thank you for reading!

 

Fran Asaro is a Life and Business Coach helping Women Entrepreneurs create a Freedom-Based Lifestyle. Visit her Thrive Any Way site.

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Read Why I ran away from home and my business for 2 1/2 years – A story for women entrepreneurs who are  lost and disillusioned

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10 Secrets to Creating Your Perfect Vision Board

  • You want to create a great new year correct?
  • You want it to be the best year ever, right?

10 Secrets to Creating a Perfect Vision BoardA vision board has become quite popular over the years. I did my first one in 1995 and have done one almost every year since. They are designed to help you bring forth that which you desire, from love, money, family, health, travel and so much more. As a Life and Business Coach, I have facilitated several Vision Board events with great success and fun. However, without knowing what to do, some people become frustrated and disillusioned about the magic of the vision board. I want to help you before that occurs. Even if you are a seasoned Vision Boarder, I am sure you will find some valuable tools below as I share my top 10 secrets to creating YOUR Perfect Vision Board. PLUS I’m including some bonus material below to help as well.

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Completing 2015/Creating 2016 at Bonus #2

  1. CREATE THE PERFECT SPACEThis is where knowing yourself really matters. Do you like to create alone, with music and candles or at a Vision Board class with a group dynamic? Do you like to go to the library or the beach or your bedroom? Do you want to meditate first or proceed with reckless abandon? The only ‘wrong’ way to do a vision board is the way that doesn’t feel right for you. So don’t be persuaded to go somewhere or do something you don’t feel right about.
  2. BE PREPAREDItems needed for a vision board vary depending on your board size, creative ability and content. A few items I make sure to have are the actual board, glue-stick, computer and printer (see below), magazines, scissors, markers. I even create a music playlist of my favorite empowerment songs to play while creating. Also, have a comfy place to work, table, chair, pillow and floor. I have even worked off an easel, the wall and a sliding glass window before.
  3. SIZE MATTERS – Choose the size board that you know you will look at, display or relate to. Bigger isn’t always better. Choose a board that appeals to YOU. I choose a white board sometimes 12×14 and other times the huge boards. You can choose to do your vision board on wood, a treasure chest or any other object if that serves you as well.
  4. WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT? – A vision board is a very personal experience. It’s all about YOU! Many people plan their boards based on a few things that really don’t serve them. What they THINK they want, what others want for them or what they didn’t complete last year and want to compensate for it. The truth is, if you create a board on what you TRULY want, you will love your board more. I have made boards before that I never looked at again because they were filled with obligations, not visions.
  5. WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT You would not be the first person who doesn’t know what they want. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy and benefit from doing a vision board. I personally like doing a board from feelings instead of ‘things’. And to be very honest with you, it works better for me. You see, most of us say we want a ‘thing’ because of the way we believe we will feel when we get it. Even if you don’t know what ‘thing’ you want, you always know how you want to feel. It’s easier then choosing a ‘thing’. So if you want ease, confidence, feeling of accomplishment, joy, love, fun and empowerment – then you can create a board with those in mind. You can use the words or a photo that depicts the word. So you can Google the word empowerment and then select ‘images’ and you will see plenty of nice ways to show empowerment in both words and photos – or you can create your own. It’s fun!
  6. PLAN YOUR VISION – On a separate piece of paper start making a list of what you want on your board. That includes the vision, the images, words or ‘pretty trimmings’. The more planning you put into it the better flow you will have. I don’t always do this but it helps. I typically just place items and then there are those times I wish I had thought it out better.
  7. COLLECT IMAGES OFF THE WEB – Magazine clippings are what most people use to create their vision board. It’s fun and yet it isn’t always effective. We tend to use what we find on impulse instead of placing images of what we truly want. Search images on the web, print and cut them out at whatever size works for you. It’s much more effective. If you want a red Ferrari, you don’t have to look through your Good Housekeeping magazine to find it. Just find the one you want and voila!
  8. bagua mapBAGUA MAP – You can place your visions anywhere on your board, however some like to compartmentalized their boards according to the Bagua Map where you divide your board into sections. Do what feels right. This is just another way.
  9. PHOTOGRAPH YOUR BOARD – After you are complete, take a photo of your board and use it as a screen saver for your phone or desktop. You can also view it often if it’s in your phone’s photo section.
  10. NOW WHAT? – You create this incredible board and you love it. You feel you have created a masterpiece. What now?a.

a. Do you show it to others or keep it a secret? Well, I would say it’s a good practice to show it to people who will support you in your vision and not those who will criticize it. You know the difference so be mindful.

b. What if I change what I want? – It’s important to remove or cover up that which you don’t want if you are looking at your board every day. Because it will not appeal to you and you may ignore the rest of the board. Try to replace the item you don’t want or cover it up with something pleasant.

c. What if I get something that I want? Let’s hope there are loads of these. You can do couple of things. You can take the item off the board and place it in a ‘GOT IT’ folder or circle it on the board to acknowledge that you manifested it and celebrate it. The idea is to see what feels right for you. You can even place a new vision over it.

d. Do I display it or put it away? – This is a very personal decision as well. So display there’s proudly and believe by looking at it daily, touching it and reconnecting with it will make the difference in the manifestation of it. Others on the other hand do the complete opposite. They trust that they have told the universe what they want and trust that all will unfold it the right time. I for one have had more success from a hidden vision board then a displayed one. But that doesn’t mean anything.

11. BONUS #1 DIGITAL/VIRTUAL VISION BOARDIf you are a bit savvy with your computer, you may want to create a digital/virtual vision board. I have done this many times and loved it. I choose my items, add text to them (what they are, when I want them by) and put them all in one folder in my pictures file and create a slide show. Then I choose my screen saver to come on with that slide show and while I am on hold or busy doing something else, my visions are flashing before my eyes! I also take the photos out of the slide show when I receive that item and place it in a new ‘Got It’ folder. Because you will not want to look at things all day long that you no longer want or have received.

12. BONUS #2 – COMPLETING 2015 / CREATING 2016Every year I offer a workshop to my completing creatingclients and women’s group. It begins with a worksheet to complete the previous year and create the New Year. If you would like a copy of these two powerful and helpful forms to help you get very clear, click here to get your copy. You will be amazed at how much you create your future by what you didn’t complete in your past. Let’s stop doing that and create from absolutely NOTHING – OK?

Click here to get started today and create a very powerful 2016

ESSENTIAL OILS AND YOUR VISION BOARD

You may have noticed the 10 oils listed on my poster for creating a perfect vision board. As a business coach, a Young Living Essential Oil distributor and a user of the oils for over 20 years, I want to make sure you know that these oils have helped many and if you want to implement them into your vision board, please contact me to order them or go to my website: franasaro.com.

  1. Highest Potential
  2. Into the Future
  3. Live with Passion
  4. Magnify your Purpose
  5. Transformation
  6. Abundance
  7. Inspiration
  8. Motivation
  9. Believe
  10. Dream Catcher
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